US Olympians Are Amazed by Snow — Winter Olympics PyeongChang

Culture


Prior to taking of for PyeongChang, site of the 2018 Winter Olympics, Team USA gathered in Park City, Utah for a promotional photoshoot and media summit.

Speedskater Katherine Reutter-Adamek

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They took photos both stoic and silly to help drum up excitement about the Games and to help people like me do things like this. One presumes that they chose Park City for the shoot because of its picturesque wintry vistas. Like this:

Freestyle Skier McRae Williams

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#VisitUtah

While the photoshoot was comprised mostly of brightly-lit backgrounds rather than natural sights, many of the photos include a dusting of fake snowfall, and that is why I’ve gathered you here today.

Freestyle Skier Maddie Bowman

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Most of the athletes chose to ignore the snow or graciously play with it, but some went all the way in, giving us drama, giving us intrigue, giving us snow much more than we were expecting.

They’re such over-the-top performances, in fact, that it looks like a promotional photo shoot for a TV movie about a town that has never seen snow. It’s like Lifetime takes on climate change and I’m very here for it.

See for yourself:

Promotional stills from the forthcoming film Fast and Flurrious: The Town That Had Never Seen Snow

We open on Blizzard City, the most ironically named town in all of Anonymous Midwestern US State. The residents are getting ready for another local Winter Games Festival™, which will once again be played on verdant grass and dry hillsides. A little kid runs through the streets and asks a stranger, “Hey ma’am! What’s snow like?” The woman stares into the distance and mumbles, “I wish I knew, young lad. I wish I knew.”

Speedskater Katherine Reutter-Adamek

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Okay, let’s speed this whole thing up cuz, spoiler alert, they’re going to see snow.

A weather report calls for precipitation! But not everyone is convinced.

Freestyle skier Gus Kenworthy

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“I’ll believe it when I see it,” barks gruff but surprisingly attractive Mayor Gus.

Indeed, no one believes the report but, wouldn’t you know it, that night the strangest thing happens!

Can you guess what it is?

Two people sing “Total Eclipse of the Heart” at the two different karaoke bars at the same time!

I know! Unbelievable!

But also!

It begins to snow.

And…

THE PEOPLE LOSE THEIR MINDS ABOUT IT.

Snowboarder Nate Holland

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“Snow my God!”

Alpine skier Laurenne Ross

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(Because many of the Olympians are wearing their uniforms, this looks like a town full of superheroes, so maybe write that into the script, too. They’re superheroes. But they’ve never seen snow. That’s key here. I cannot stress that enough. They’ve never seen it and it blows their minds.)

Alpine skier Jackie Wiles

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Luger Chris Mazdzer

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This is real commitment to a bit, tbh.

Figure skater Vincent Zhou

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I feel like Vincent Zhou is claiming credit for the snowfall. I’ll allow it.

Skeleton racer Matt Antoine

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He’s reaching, your honor.

Freestyle skier Mac Bohonnon

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This look is called the “Tom Cruise cool but incredulous” and it’s fantastic.

Paralympic Nordic Skiier Oksana Masters

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Major Frozen vibes happening.

But wait! What about hot Mayor Gus? What about his skepticism? Did he ever get to see the snow?!

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Yes.

He did.

And his heart was never so full as it was that day.

Mayor Gus hugs all the townspeople as they wander around with their arms outstretched because that’s what you do when it snows.

Of course, this song plays over the credits as the town residents (also superheroes) are finally able to put their skis and skates and aptly named snowboards to good use.

Follow R. Eric Thomas on Twitter.





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