Should I ‘Forget’ to Invite My Lewd-When-Drunk Friend to My Wedding?

Life & Love

Dear E. Jean: I’m ready to send out invitations to my wedding. It will be small and elegant—just close friends and family. I’m hesitating about mailing an invitation to one of my oldest friends. He’s a hoot and my family loves him, but let him have two drinks and he gets loud and lewd, propositions both straight and gay guys, and discloses the most private and scathing details about my life. Should I invite him or not? —Ready to Seal the Envelope

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Dear Miss Ready: An unhappy choice is before you: Would you rather have a miserable wedding surrounded by friends you love? Or a nice wedding without the people you care about?

Never mind. I just reread your question. This dude won’t do. If you can’t trust him, you can’t invite him. If you like, on the day of the ceremony, dress him in a tuxedo and send him to my house. We’ll raise a jigger and toast your future happiness. Mazel tov!

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at

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